I travel, I plant, I paint (mainly walls), I scoot, I tie dye, I write

Today I would like to do an update on all the wonderful goals I had planned for Autumn, but as soon as I declare I want to do something it doesn’t happen. 

Not to say I’ve been sitting on my arse watching the time go by and with it each spec of dust that lands on my neglected goals sheet. I’ve actually been continuously busy, which like I said in my summer goals, I think these goals only push me to do more.

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So no I haven’t gone swimming every week (I actually was, but as soon as I wrote it I stopped). No I haven’t flown a kite, still. No, that print for charity isn’t sorted. And no, James and I haven’t done anything particularly special – but we’ve had a great time with little things, plus sometimes planned ‘dates’ aren’t as fun. Our relationship thrives on spontaneity.

I suppose, one out of four isn’t that bad. That one was the most vague though, and almost impossible to not achieve.

Things I have done

Now that’s a different story. Though probably a boring one.

To look more decorative lets say the story is filled with all things autumn and cosy.

Which I share on my Instagram if you want to have a nosy.

I’ve had a thought that maybe I should base these seasonal goals on things I actually don’t want.

Put on more weight

Drink alcohol every day

Try and be more anxious

In hopes I ignore them too and go my own way.

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Part of my brain is shouting Pirates Code! (though don’t know how that applies) and the other part is saying the code is more what you’d call “guidelines” than actual rulesPersonally, I’m siding with Captain Barbossa on this one.

I’m only joking anyway, it doesn’t upset me. I’m actually proud of myself at the moment, I’m doing good.

I’d still like to fly that bloody kite though.

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This week on whybut has been different. At first it annoyed me, not going to lie, but turns out how I want to be and how I am are two very different things.

I want to be clear headed 24/7 and able to do all the things I want, but I simply can’t.

I get low, then I get extremely happy, and then back down etc etc. And along with the ride I get so frustrated, I hate the numb days, I hate hopelessness, I want to be something else.

*You’re never going to be someone else*

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It’s too complex to go into, plus I can’t be asked.

I’m just being my own best friend, that’s all. And I love to comfort her with Sky Arts Landscape Artist of the Year and Jonathon Creek.

I obviously want to continue to fight the depression and anxiety, but I still need to be at peace with it – some days I can climb over it and sometimes I need to stay on the mountain and make it my home. It can’t be a negative anymore because it’s been years and years now and I should just accept it’s part of my path.

I have depression. I HAVE DEPRESSION! That’s fine.

Anyway, less suppression, more acceptance. That’s been my week.

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Along with it I’ve realised I can’t write out do to lists for future days, or plan it because when that day comes my mood might not want to do it – and I don’t need guilt on top of other negative feelings.

So this week my book has turned into an essential part of my working, but not with words – more like a pallet or backdrop.

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Still successful. I did stuff that was under each category – lifestyle, work and personal.

I made these wonderfully, weird penguin acorn caps, which I will be turning into baubles and will be up on my etsy soon.

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I also finished these two photo wall hangings – after the other two selling – and they are up on my etsy shop.

Other than that my bedroom is a shit hole, I’ve forgotten to clean my teeth today and I’m treating myself to a takeaway pizza tonight. Yipeeeee!

 

 

 

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Look at this stuff, isn’t it neat, wouldn’t you think my collections complete?? 

The pine cone collection is complete.. for now that is. I love me some natural crafting so I’m sure I’ll find many a use for pine cones in the near future.

If you want to have a nosy you can get them here on etsy.

Thank you!

P.s. Officially feeling Christmasy now. It’s starting.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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I can happily report that the weather has finally gotten nippy. Why some hate this I’ll never know. As long as I’m wrapped up warm I love it as much I love every season.

I needed more pine cones. Yes, needed. What a sentence. James suggested trying a local woods because we both didn’t have a scooby on where there would be an abundance of pine trees. We lucked out.

They weren’t easy to come by, we had to search for them under the fallen leaves, and when I say we it was mainly James. As you can tell, I was taking photos. What can I say?! It’s a hobby.

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I’ve mentioned my bad memory on my blog before but it’s hard for that to come across in words. I could just be saying it or, even worse, I could be saying it in hopes someone would be like no you don’t! Well, well, well, it’s not for an ego boost, I have photographic evidence of it.

I was taking photos of leaves – you know, hobby – and when I got home and looked through them I took photos of the same leaves when walking into the woods and walking out. The same exact ones, I can tell by a red berry next to them. Even the composition is the same. Might not be a big deal, you may be thinking, well have a look at the ground…

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On the way out, along with wasting my time looking at the same leaves, we witnessed two squirrels running around up in the tree tops. I don’t think I’ve ever heard a squirrel make a noise before, without realising, but fun fact of the day – it was exactly like The Sword in the Stone. Who else thought that was just a fun/confusingwhenyoureachild part of the film?

Then a few strides ahead we saw about 15 parakeets going mental.  It was definitely a bust up, and before you ask, of course we made little voices for them. Barry and Sandra were having a domestic. He’s the jealous type.

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Anyway, mission accomplished.

And what’s a blog post without showing my little brother?! (He helped me wash them) (Anything is fun when you’re four).

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