A treasure hidden in a book

The early summer wasn’t the only surprise I had this week.

Maker:S,Date:2017-10-10,Ver:6,Lens:Kan03,Act:Lar02,E-Y

This book was bought in a bookshop in Tonbridge. A floor to ceiling of books, bookshop. A, books in every nut and cranny possible, bookshop. A quaint, but the space is probably substantial if the books towering everywhere didn’t close the place in, bookshop. Such a small and full bookshop that you fear anyone coming the other way for you’ll have to awkwardly breathe in, despite it making you bigger, and squeeze past each other, risking books flying everywhere, bookshop.

Places like that are true gems.

And it’s still on giving..

While reading on my knitting blanket in the garden, completely engrossed, I turned the page and a sheet of paper was neatly folded and tucked into the margin.

Maker:S,Date:2017-10-10,Ver:6,Lens:Kan03,Act:Lar02,E-Y

I like to believe someone left a note for the future. I like to believe a whole fairy tale of things that I won’t list, but yes, some of the stories include a secret agent.

I think it was actually someone working out a Christmas card.

Greetings
     ’67

Harry
Bahar

Bahar
O
N

N
O
E
L

A
L
I
C
E

Maker:S,Date:2017-10-10,Ver:6,Lens:Kan03,Act:Lar02,E-Y

A true treasure from the past.

I slipped it back into my book and continued reading.

 

 

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An evening of creative busyness

Maker:S,Date:2017-10-10,Ver:6,Lens:Kan03,Act:Lar02,E-Y

I had such a fun afternoon yesterday.

After a slow morning of knitting, it was a fully creative evening, like the ones I hope to do everyday but instead always choose the easier option of procrastinating, eating crap and watching YouTube.

emilyannlou knitting

I really needed it too. I don’t need to say how down I’ve been, the fact I’m depressed anyway and I haven’t blogged in three weeks means you can conclude it for yourself. I gift you creative control on that decision.

It started with re-potting some plants I’ve grown myself, for birthday presents, while listening to Twenty One Pilots live at Firefly festival, and watching my 4 year old brother head bang to it.

While I was re-potting one (and a disaster happened to it, but I won’t share today) I decided I may as well do all of them. I then rummaged around the house to find bowls and tins to be used as pots. It feels so much nicer to use something you already own, or find a new use for, than buying a new pot. I don’t know why that is.

Maker:S,Date:2017-10-10,Ver:6,Lens:Kan03,Act:Lar02,E-YMaker:S,Date:2017-10-10,Ver:6,Lens:Kan03,Act:Lar02,E-Y

I wrote tags for the ones I’m giving away, then as I was fertilising all my plants there was an orange glow radiating from all the windows and sitting about the house. I don’t believe we’ve seen a golden hour in a while.

Maybe we have but my beyond my dark blinkers I couldn’t see it.

I decided for the rest of the evening – after arm wrestling with my brother to convince him to eat his pasta – to finally upload my moon faces onto Etsy ( – From Miles – ) which, if you have never sold anything online, can be so, so tedious. The most boring part out of the whole process.

BUT, I had decided all my Moon Faces have names and back stories. And so, I had soooo much fun writing them. I was laughing out loud. It was a proper creative exercise. It reminded me of when I was 16 and I’d write short stories for my friends in similar fashion.

 

 

I’ve uploaded 7 so far, go have a look if you’re curious at my sense of humour and who these Moon Faces really are.

I hope to be back at posting almost daily – but who can ever know when mental health is riddled between every line in my brain. I have my Morocco trip to write about and in my own time I’ll get to it because I enjoy blogging about travel so much – spoiler: Marrakesh markets are mental.. pretty obvious.

Anyway, thanks for reading and here’s to more creative days!

Maker:S,Date:2017-10-10,Ver:6,Lens:Kan03,Act:Lar02,E-Y

Lola’s Cupcakes – raspberry and lemon (and heaven)

Maker:S,Date:2017-10-10,Ver:6,Lens:Kan03,Act:Lar02,E-veMaker:S,Date:2017-10-10,Ver:6,Lens:Kan03,Act:Lar02,E-ve

I don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day but I so happened to buy these vegan lemon and raspberry cupcakes yesterday and it looked so fitting to the holiday.

Actually, I didn’t eat them all and looking at the photos is making me crave one. Let me go get a coffee and cupcake, then I’ll come back..

I’m settling down with eating vegan. I’ve decided what my diet for the future will be, but I won’t share it because it’s adapted to me and therefore not many others would understand it, naturally.

Obviously I’ll continue to post on my experiments with veganism though, it’s just food at the end of the day.

I’m a moral driven person, I have principles and yet I let them slacken. I allow them to when they don’t fit with everyone else. That’s when I have conflict in myself. (Along with other conflicts of course. We all have storms within us.)

I need to be stronger in that sense.

Also stronger on the sweet things front at the moment.

Maker:S,Date:2017-10-10,Ver:6,Lens:Kan03,Act:Lar02,E-ve

I am getting better each day at sticking to my guns. At least I have guns, I have to give myself that. (Not literal guns, just encase you really thought my cupboard under the stairs is filled with all sorts of ammunition.)

I also don’t fire my metamorphic guns, that’s part of my principles. They’re mine to live by, others don’t need to know nor do I expect anyone to agree with me.

Funnily enough I’ve been obsessed with The Good Place on Netflix and this bit on what makes you a good person makes me laugh so much.

emilyannlou the good place

I also want a pet sheep.

These are the thoughts floating in my brain as I watch Luther, drink coffee, eat cake and put up Etsy listings of my moon faces.

AND the suns out today. Yippee.

I don’t really mean that yippee. I apologise.

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Snapshot of my January 2018

Successfully did Veganuary with this guy…

emily and james

 

And ate a lot, a lot of food…

emilyannlou vegan burger and dog

 

Finally begun reading again, in hopes for some quiet…

emilyannlou roald dahl

 

Scooted…

emily scooting

 

And finally, my love for clay deepened…

emilyannlou broken house

 

Reasoning

I’m going through a phase of needing quiet.

I suppose I need peace. But the next best thing is quiet.

Maker:S,Date:2017-10-10,Ver:6,Lens:Kan03,Act:Lar02,E-ve

I struggle with the thought of ‘what’s the point in doing anything?’ Everything is trivial and meaningless really, once we die. I don’t say this to be a downer – though, naturally, it is a downer.

I fight this conflict all the time. It’s why some days I do nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Maker:S,Date:2017-10-10,Ver:6,Lens:Kan03,Act:Lar02,E-ve

Today though I needed a walk in my favourite fields, to clear away the fog and cobwebs, and although it was freezing (literally freezing, it’s been snowing this week) it helped me hugely.

Just feeling the sun on my face.. it’s hard to explain. I don’t need to explain anyway.

I realised

there’s no point to anything but you can’t be happy doing nothing.

It’s simple, but as I’ve been realising recently, the best things are.

Maker:S,Date:2017-10-10,Ver:6,Lens:Kan03,Act:Lar02,E-ve

I’ve slacked on reading for a while now and to get back into it I started with some Roald Dahl. I then went onto The Secret Garden. The quote ‘where you tend a rose, my lad, a thistle cannot grow’ has stuck with me. So for two packages I’m sending to friends for Valentine’s Day I included a postcard of this quote that I drew, with a note on the back reminding them to keep the magic within them.

A fashion shoot on my scooter

Maker:S,Date:2017-10-10,Ver:6,Lens:Kan03,Act:Lar02,E-ve

I’m back on my scooter. I thought it’ll break after the summer but I’m still living my best life.

I’ve never been shy from buying bits and bobs in charity shops, two years ago I bought all Christmas presents from them. For a while I’ve naturally been going into the direction of buying less and making more conscious decisions. I turned veggie 4 years ago, couple years after I went all cruelty free with make up and now I want to stop buying from unethical shops.

This time last year I actually read The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying and went through my entire wardrobe and got rid of anything that didn’t give me ‘joy’. Unfortunately, it turned out, clothes don’t generally bring me joy, so I didn’t have much of anything left.

I got by though, wasn’t naked the entire time. No arrests for public nudity.

 

emily scooting

This year I’ve made a personal goal to only buy clothes from charity shops or ethical brands. Not to purposely go and buy loads of clothes, but when for when I do (hence why I haven’t mentioned it before now). I have my reasons, but I haven’t worked out these conflicting thoughts in my brain yet. Haven’t worked out the right balance between my own consumption and helping the planet. I’ve just decided to start. I know how distracting buying more and more can be to the important things in life though and I’m sure over time, and with some research, it’ll all become clear.

I also think I function better living more simply and having less options. After being vegan for January I became healthier and enjoyed food more and I honestly believe it’s because I just couldn’t eat the junk – the choice wasn’t there. I put that label ‘vegan’ on my diet and so I couldn’t have the non-vegan foods. Simple.

I don’t want all the glittery and shiny brand new clothes from Topshop or Zara when I just simply can’t have them.

emilyannlou charity clothes

So after the vegan market in London I convinced James and Roxanne to go charity shop shopping – in the cold, wet and grizzly weather. ‘It’s an adventure’ I say.

I picked up a few bits, including this dress, originally from H&M, and this denim jacket, originally from BSCO Dockhand… after a lot of research I can confidently say I still know nothing about this brand other than it may have existed in the 90s. And that it’s mens.

That’s another pointer to add actually, I generally don’t look at size or gender (other than if it’s too small).

 

Maker:S,Date:2017-10-10,Ver:6,Lens:Kan03,Act:Lar02,E-ve

I’ll share more bits when I buy or wear them.

Meanwhile, others are celebrating that we are finally out of January, I am celebrating that I am finally out on my scooter again. It is pure freedom.

Maker:S,Date:2017-10-10,Ver:6,Lens:Kan03,Act:Lar02,E-ve

A little letter to my future self (maybe even for tomorrow)

You probably won’t remember last night when you wanted to scratch your own brain out – that’s how you seem to work.
Nor remember today, once the storm had passed.
But please try and remember that it does pass.
It does pass.

emilyannlou roald dahlemilyannlou facesemilyannlou