Ways I’m trying to combat the holiday blues

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To stop me moping, to stop the phrase ‘a week ago I was in such and such place’ and in all my efforts to stay positive, I’ve written a list for myself to beat the holiday blues. And oh wow they’re hitting me all over at the moment. They’ve got boxing gloves on and aren’t playing fair.

I’ve never really got them before, in the past I was always excited to come home to something. I always missed something. My last two week holiday was without my boyfriend so I missed him and didn’t get the blues when I did return. This time? Nothing, except I missed my little brother and my comfort blanket. I could have kept on going. No offence to any friends or family reading this (and also yes, I have a comfort blanket and I’m not ashamed to say it) (I wouldn’t have missed it if I remembered to pack it, I forgot, I wasn’t being an ‘adult’ and left it behind like my Mum thought.)

I’ve been back less than a week and I am irritable, restless and oh dear my first shift back at work was difficult. I just kept thinking ‘but I just don’t want to do this’ and then another voice in my head was saying ‘but you know you have to’, and the reply was ‘yeah, but I don’t think you understand. I really don’t want to’. Oh, and I am very stubborn, side note. I just know travelling is for me and once you get a taste like I did it’s so difficult to not want more. It’s like an addiction. Like, I’m okay and happy, but if I get a thought about travelling something in my body changes and I get restless sitting at my desk job. Now’s not the time to ponder jobs though.

I’m allowing myself to bask in missing holiday in a positive way. In a way that makes me want to save up for my next one. But for someone who dabbles in depression, I say like it’s enjoyable, I want to help nip this negative feeling in the bud. I also want to prevent going off into my own la la land, day dreaming about my last trip or future trips. I want to snap back to the present.

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Here’s what I’ve been trying/planning to do;

  • continue to style and tidy my bedroom. Woah, well that sounds like the most boring thing a 25 year old could do. Nah, I love being creative with my surroundings.
  • blogging. I need to make sure that when I get an interesting thought I write it down and try to expand on it. I did this for the whole two weeks while I was travelling, which is the most consistent I’ve ever been with this blog, and it felt fucking amazing.
  • listen to music. Really listen. It’s a good way to keep you in the present in general, and it’s uplifting. My mind likes to do something where a thought pops up, let’s say its negative about being back, and rather accept the thought for what it is and move on with my life, I stop… and stare into space… while the feeling and thought consumes me… and I haven’t even realised it.
  • but if the thought’s too strong I have to write it down. No matter what I’m originally doing. Let them go, you know.
  • gym! Exercise! I think a big thing about the holiday blues is that you feel like you’re in limbo. Before the trip it was like everything in your life is building up to that holiday and that’s your focus. You come back with that achieved but with no direction. The thing with regularly exercising is that it puts that stability back. You feel like there’s a goal even though there isn’t a specific goal. So while I’m straightening my brain and looking for my next focus, exercise can pretend to be it.
  • be singular. Be selfish. To a certain extent. I don’t mean be a bitch, fob everyone off, sit in bed and eat chocolate. More like.. You’re feeling low, be careful with yourself. Be best friends with yourself and treat yourself good. And eat chocolate.
  • be social and chill with pals.
  • remember there’s still things to do with the past trip! You haven’t printed the photos yet and I’m sure there’s so many thoughts to come from it. I love a ponder and thought. It’s not completely over.

This is what I’ve figured out so far. Mainly create!! Even if it’s from a negative feeling, like right now with this post. I’ve been doing my bedroom, blogging and listening to music. Haven’t exercised yet but I’m pretty tempted to put my running shoes on right now actually. I just finished work though, and I wake up at 4:15am on work days. I know I’m definitely going to the gym in the week at least. Let’s be realistic now, I just opened a Easter egg.

I’m getting there. I’m hopeful.

 

 

 

The Ones I’ve Completed

I think you get three types of people. Ones who aren’t interested in projects, ones who like everything done and finished, and ones who pick up new projects like a toddler picks his nose. I’m definitely the one picking my nose – wait, no, that’s not what I meant.

Completing projects seems rare. I know in the social media world everything is sparkling and perfect but no, my world lacks buckets of glitter. I’d probably choke on it anyway. My reality is that I couldn’t even list the amount of projects I have going on, and on and on and on.. It ranges from I still haven’t chosen two photos to go in those frames I fixed on the wall a month ago, to writing the next draft of a script.

Today though I will share projects in my bedroom which are done, whether they took minutes or a few months, but the point is they’re finished. Completed. Done done done.. Until I get bored and change it all up again. It happens, I’m human.

This is a combination of things found and bought. In the tiny jam jar is a crystal, the broken top of a prosecco bottle covered in wax, a flattened London coin I found and 1 Czech crown.

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My wonderful oil drum which I’m too scared to put a real candle in.

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My scratch map, my cork board and my key ring canvas.

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A year ago I posted this, about repotting some cacti. Look at it now ladies and gentlemen. Look at it now. Still in love with it.

My ugly blanket is finished and as ugly as ever.

And lastly, my very first blog post, My Top Tips For Living In Rented Accommodation, featured this cabinet, which is now a gloss grey.

Fist bump to finished projects and to starting a million more! Hear hear!

 

my cork board

I saved corks for years. In those years I had to explain to people why I kept them when they asked. Sharing ideas is liberating, which is why I inconsistently blog, but how do you show someone the visions in your brain. There was always a plan and I could always see it, and now after many many many drinks, many vague conversations with vaguely interested friends, and many different new homes for them, I can now hang up my new cork board. Because ideas don’t just vanish, and it’s always totally worth it.

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Film Soaking With Vinegar

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Better late than never? How often is that saying true? Well my summer project does still exist, just because I’ve waited so long to share the photos doesn’t mean my summer didn’t happen. I’m just always late to the party, you know. But that usually means I turn up drunk.. Or I’m the last one standing.. Where am I going with this?

So I tried film soaking and that was fun. I love an experiment, but an experiment with photography and my knees are knocking and my hands are shaking. Maybe I should get that looked at. This 35mm film was soaked in vinegar for 2 days, then soaked in water for 3 days and dried out in rice. These photos were taken on my trusted pal Olympus Trip 35.

Other than looking like we all have been infected with a deadly virus (but still having time to drink gin and tonic out of ‘shake it up’ glasses) I’m loving a bit of soak-a-film-to-make-it-look-all-weird-and-cool. That’s the technical term.

Tune in next time for some more film soaking with diseases such as gangrene, scurvy and the black death.

Summer Project Back To Life

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Oh hi strangers, I’ve not been around for a bit have I? I haven’t forgotten about you I was just living life, you know. So my July and August project of taking photos of my everyday life on film hasn’t been discarded, I’ve taken the photos, I just haven’t shared them. But I am here to do that right now for week two!

I’m not a perfectionist and I don’t care about details but I’ve used four films so far so I’m assuming I’m using a film a week. Possibly. For this film I used my Olympus Trip MD3, which is super easy to use, you don’t have to think about anything. Well you can, like what to have for dinner tonight, or if you can go one more day not washing your hair – what no I wouldn’t do that… This week had ups and downs if I remember correctly, hence the face plant photo but it’s all cool, that’s part of it. Enjoy!

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