Cosy nights

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In desperation, my partner bought me Sleepy from Lush in hopes I’ll settle better of an evening. I’m in an awful routine – which has spanned my 26 years – of getting anxious at night, getting what I call ‘restless leg’ (like growing pains in my legs) and being just a pain in the arse. Then, what makes it worse for my partner, the next morning I wake up and forget all about it and get on with my day.

‘What a lovely/horrible day I’ve had,’ I ignorantly say to myself, ‘it’s been very productive/lazy, oh look nights creeping in..’

and BAMB!

Hello friend, remember me now?!

Yes I do! Why didn’t I do anything to stop this?!

It’s a bit like 50 First Dates, or, a bit darker, like that Black Mirror episode where the lady lives the real life nightmare each day because she committed a crime.. I don’t remember committing a crime.. but neither did she……

So, inspired by my new product, which rather excites me more than I should admit, I had a day of tidying my bedroom and making it all relaxing and lovely. ‘How can it take all day to tidy?’ I hear you cry, well it was in a pretty bad state, with it also becoming a somewhat office/studio recently. So it’s not even finished now but I’m okay with that.

What did I do to help me chill?

Self care and doing things I love. Rule number one. (Well rule number one is always that you don’t talk about Sleep Club, even though I am right now) but taking time for yourself is so important that I felt like I needed a Fight Club reference to get it across. Did it work?

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Lit my new candle. I just can’t resist not smelling candles in shops. Same with trying on hats. Instantly Christmas hit me in the nostrils and it’s not even a Christmas candle, which is even more perfect really because it meant it was on sale. And oh, feeling Christmasy is the best feeling! I can just lay there and let that feeling consume me. But then again that’s not going to help me sleep – think relaxing, Emily, rellaaxxx

If you’re as obsessed and excited by autumn, winter and Christmas as I am, give it a smell and see if you agree. And also I now have relax, don’t do it.. stuck in my head. Oh, and there’s Zoolander in there too. Yep.

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Had my Sleepy lotion. I think I need to have a box of night time lotions and sprays next to my bed at all times. It’s actually getting ridiculous how much I struggle. I’ll start my collection now, Sleepy is the first one.

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Fairy lights. Atmosphere, it’s important. Not to my boyfriend. Nor probably a lot of people, but I think it’s another rule. Let’s recap;

Rule 1: Do not talk about Sleep Club
Rule 2: DO NOT TALK ABOUT SLEEP CLUB
Rule 3: Take good care of yourself and do things that bring you joy
Rule 4: Create a nice atmosphere

And other than clean bedding – besides detracting me from the smell of the sleepy lotion, everyone loves clean bedding – and as many comforting films as I could manage, and a read of Harry Potter, that was pretty much my evening.

BUT to top it all off, the next morning when I left for work at 6am, whilst still feeling all cosy and happy, these were the sights presented to me which sent my heart aflutter for the coming season…

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Fixing what’s unsatisfactory

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Creating meaningful surroundings is important to me. I’m not a designer of any sort. I don’t have rules… I purposely like to kid myself that I’m breaking rules but I have no clue, I could be following a rule book unbeknown to me.

That’s what I was doing today. Concentrating on my room. It’s not done, this is where I’m up to. Everyday I view my surrounds as something to decorate, I suppose that’s just a creative mind, but I don’t always act on the urge, hence this post. There is a need in me to fix everything to what I find pleasing though.

I wonder why when something is important to me, like decorating and styling, I don’t become more knowledgeable on it but rather I allow it to be what it is. It’s an natural interest, I like stuff, but at the same time I am particular on what I have. I like to collect things from different places, I like to make things, I don’t need my possessions to scream what interests I have but I like them to portray my personality. That’s why it’s homely to me. That’s why I feel comfortable in my room.

And how does pleasing me work? How do I ‘find’ what is pleasing? I suppose, I say reluctantly, that must come down to some sort of rule – the juxtaposition of the objects. It’s like pretty faces are usually symmetrical. I don’t know. I’m just not sure, there’s probably a science behind it. With people who are Doctors. Hello, I’m a Doctor of Style. You wouldn’t believe them though, would you. You’d just think they’re being cocky.

My room is divided into two categories; things I’m satisfied with and things I’m not. I wasn’t aware of this till recently and all it comes down to when I have a feeling that something isn’t right. Which is an okay problem, I suppose, but it occurred to me that I could just fix them. Anything that gives me a sinking feeling just correct it till I’m all chill inside.

That’s obvious isn’t it. When you live in a space you don’t often see that though.

So here I am fixing what doesn’t satisfy me and I’ll update you in the future whether these changes have worked.

shelving

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bed side table

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shelves

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This is where I kind of gave up and had a walk, food and a bubble bath. I’m an easily distracted creature. This one was a tough one though. I still don’t think it’s right but I think I’m done playing for today so I’ll sit on it a bit and see if my dissatisfied senses tingle.

It does look kind of cute. It’s growing on me already.IMG_2916

 

A quickie on plants and possibly insanity

Something wonderful happened a few weeks ago. Wonderful you ask? Yes, and you may only understand if you are like me.

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My brother began to describe a plant he owns to me, with so much detail and love. I was like yes! I get this. This is how I talk about my plants. He was then telling me his girlfriend doesn’t care like he does, and again yes! My boyfriend switches off when I start explaining how one is growing, ones stopped, how one is growing a certain way, concern for another and that I don’t like to split up the twins. (Photo of the twins below. They’re nonidentical. They’ve been together for so long and grew so well together that when I potted them into individual pots I couldn’t split them up. Genuine sadness.)

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It was a magical moment (brother would probably disagree) of knowing I wasn’t alone in this world of wanting a few house plants but not wanting to care for a garden and possibly not children but plants are enough. He wasn’t on board though when I was explaining that people say you should talk to your plants but I believe they grow more if you radiate love for them when you water them.. I’m really not crazy, I just don’t know how to write this without sounding insane.

So this post is for my love, and hoping others understand, but knowing they probably won’t, BUT I took some pretty photos for people to look at?

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15 Things I’d Be Doing If I Didn’t have Tonsillitis (But I Still Probably Wouldn’t Be)

You know when you’re ill and you instantly think ugh, if I wasn’t sick I would have got this done, and that done! ?

Even though you probably wouldn’t have.. That’s a sickness in itself.

Here are fifteen things my brain tells me I would have gotten done if I didn’t have tonsillitis right now (most likely all a lie);

  1. Could have finally finished my homemade Christmas cards and possibly even handing them out.
  2. Tidied my bedroom completely, so it’s all finished.
  3. Prepared items for my Etsy shop.
  4. ALL of my washing.
  5. Seen Fantastic Beasts And Where To Find Them at the cinema. (This one is actually true) (Gutted!)
  6. Probably would have been well groomed, clean and presentable.
  7. Maybe even decorated my room a little. No, I would have decorated the whole house.
  8. Definitely would have watched far less Netflix… And used my time wisely.
  9. Probably would have had lots of long, brisk walks.
  10. Been sophisticated and read a book about philosophy, in the park perhaps.
  11. Socialised every night and been the talk of the town.
  12. A digital detox would have happened.
  13. I would have meditated every day, and maybe a bit of yoga.
  14. Played board games with my family and feel so bonded.
  15. And finally, made blog posts everyday, with mind blowing content.

 

Such a shame. Oh well. Don’t mind me, I need to skim Netflix now I’ve finished watching The Crown. It is so tough being sick!

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Back when I was well. A whole long week ago. I was probably in the middle of making my bed when I decided to take this quick snap on my SLR, after securing it to my tripod and getting all the settings right, then taking ten or so dud photos. So hardworking. (I was definitely not making my bed)

Aiming For The ‘Christmas Feeling’ All Year

Ideally I’d decorate my bedroom with the ‘Christmas feeling’ for all of eternity. I’m not one of those quirky’s that’ll have their Christmas tree up all year round, thank you for wondering, I’m definitely not that level of cool, but oh do I aspire to it. My level of cool only reaches to the ‘feeling’ all year round. We’re talking about feelings. I’m one of those people.

I personally have a lot. I’m not sure if that’s a thing, but when I speak to people, whether it be in depth or only skimming the surface, I always seem to have a million more emotions than the other person. I used to see it as a negative characteristic in my life – staring comments like ‘why are you so sensitive?’ – but I can’t live my life like that, I gotta embrace my ‘sensibility’ and write down that poem, hug those trees and be passionate about any little irrelevant thing that I deem worthy.

I do question whether we all have these emotions and I just refuse to push them down. I don’t just wear my heart on my sleeve – it drips off my sleeve. Like water off a ducks back, I won’t absorb the feelings into myself. Or I question if social norms keeps it in others, but that’s going down a whole different rabbit hole that I’ll only do in my brain to save you all. It’s too late for me.

But YES, I’d like to have that xmas feeling in my new bedroom. I think the closest to describing it is this hygge phenomenon that is sweeping the Earth at the moment. Unfortunately it doesn’t describe it that well because there isn’t an English translation for it, other than cosiness, but that doesn’t paint the whole picture. But I shall google the definition, one sec…

My favourite explanation is; In essence, hygge means creating a nice, warm atmosphere and enjoying the good things in life with good people around you. The warm glow of candlelight is hygge. Friends and family – that’s hygge too. And let’s not forget the eating and drinking – preferably sitting around the table for hours on end discussing the big and small things in life. Perhaps the Danish idea of hygge explains why Danes are often considered the happiest people in the world? 

That’s from visit Denmark.

I’ve already visited Denmark – not that I won’t again, this website is telling me to and it seems rude to ignore it. I went to Copenhagen in 2013 for my 22nd birthday, and oh my God, it’s true. It’s all true! What’s true, you ask? I dunno, but it was lovely and there’s definitely a different, relaxed feeling there, which England usually lacks in. At the time I wasn’t aware of this hygge word, but I suppose that’s what it was.

I went in May but it was gorgeous weather, and I think it may have been a bank holiday of some sort for them (it was May 15th). If not it’s even more cool because there were so many locals out in Nyhavn just drinking next to the river. Just sitting on the wall. Casual. If it was England we would have a huge fence up so no one would jump or fall in, and there’d be signs everywhere warning about how deep it is, and maybe the floor gets slippery when wet. I don’t know. I’m all for safety (anxious brain) but I’m all for this way more. I felt so comfortable there.

I’m so going to get lost on that website once I’ve finished up here.

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Here is a photo of exactly what I said, didn’t even realise this photo of me existed. May 2013

I sound like I’m shitting all over England. I do love England. I can say that with confidence after living abroad.

Back on track. Bedroom. Christmas feeling. So think Santa’s workshop – without the toys everywhere and elves. Think candles, blankets, rugs. Think layers of things (I’m not a minimalist). Think lived in. Think twinkly lights, fun. Think books and tea. Think plants. Think warm, an orange glow, things I love, a work space for arts and crafts. Think imperfect. Think comfort.

That’s the plan.

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Jingle all the way. Nobody likes a half-arsed jingler.

Bedroom: Teenager to Adult

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2012 bedroom

As I’ve moved yet again (I’ve moved a lot in the last 5 years, that’s weird to look back on, but this time its only to a bigger room) I thought I’d share a few photos from my teenage bedroom in comparison to the one I just moved out of. I fully moved out of it 2012 when these photos were taken, which meant my photo wall disappeared, and to be fair that’s all I cared about and basically all I took photos of when I left. And to also be fair again, best way to be, my entire room was covered in photos so not sure why I always called one wall my photo wall when the others were equally covered. Teenagers, ay?! Mental.

Let us begin.

May 2012 – taken aged 21 but room decorated aged 14-19

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November 2016 – aged 25

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I don’t think there’s a huge difference between that room and the one I just moved out of. Less experimental with photos maybe. More ‘adult’ now. I used to cut photos out, overlap them, use masking tape to stick them to the wall, group them into colours or feeling. It was eclectic and a lot, I wish I could have captured all of it in one frame. Now I have collected artwork which I’ve framed, and have more items I’ve made. I see my old, old room as a blank canvas or a lesson which helped refine how I like to style, which I’m still learning (homes are never finished), and it may not seem important in the slightest but having creative and experimental surroundings feel comforting to me. Having a generic room isn’t comforting, it feels off and not myself, but the way I style is not for everyone, it’s definitely not for my family, but I like that.

I hadn’t finished this bedroom I just left, I was just getting started but I wanted this room I’m in now so bad. Already it feels good. I think it’s a positive change, and I’m seeking all the positivity I can get right now.

I transformed my last bedroom drastically to what it was before, and I’ve already changed this new one completely with the layout compared to how my brother had it. I go with my gut, decorating is important and fun to me, but I like it to be completely how I want it, not anyone else. There’s a ‘practical space’ that would work for everyone, then there’s a ‘practical space’ that suits me and my needs. It has to feel right. I haven’t painted but I don’t think I’m done with having grey walls yet. I need to live here for a bit then it’ll hit me round the face how I want to decorate, and I thrive on that inspiration.

Another Start

A month and a half ago I shared completed projects in my room, and I said ‘until I get bored and change it all up again. It happens, I’m human’. Well well, guess what’s happened! (Tip: it’s kind of obvious.)

I didn’t plan to move rooms, not until the end of the year if things went smoothly and even then it may never have happened. My brother has moved out, which is why this big room was up for grabs, and I’d be damned if my 3 year old brother got it over me! Id fight him all day for it, with plastic swords and blueberries. Don’t let the 22 year age gap fool you, he’s fearless. Now’s my chance to have a big room, I worked 25 years at this, he’s only had 3. Rant over. I do love him, I promise. 

The change in plan came when my mum suggested moving in yesterday morning. I’ve been feeling awful as I have said in other posts and I could easily spiral further downwards, so when this distraction was dangled in front of my face, like a horse with a carrot I started and it was good. So I moved in ten minutes later. Non stop moved. I was reminded how weak I am and scatty, but I organised my craft things for the first time and actually have a working space. 

Obviously once I stopped the negativity found its way back but whatever. I’m trying. High five me!

And I’m really enjoying this new drawing hobby of mine! All self help therapy.