Fixing what’s unsatisfactory

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Creating meaningful surroundings is important to me. I’m not a designer of any sort. I don’t have rules… I purposely like to kid myself that I’m breaking rules but I have no clue, I could be following a rule book unbeknown to me.

That’s what I was doing today. Concentrating on my room. It’s not done, this is where I’m up to. Everyday I view my surrounds as something to decorate, I suppose that’s just a creative mind, but I don’t always act on the urge, hence this post. There is a need in me to fix everything to what I find pleasing though.

I wonder why when something is important to me, like decorating and styling, I don’t become more knowledgeable on it but rather I allow it to be what it is. It’s an natural interest, I like stuff, but at the same time I am particular on what I have. I like to collect things from different places, I like to make things, I don’t need my possessions to scream what interests I have but I like them to portray my personality. That’s why it’s homely to me. That’s why I feel comfortable in my room.

And how does pleasing me work? How do I ‘find’ what is pleasing? I suppose, I say reluctantly, that must come down to some sort of rule – the juxtaposition of the objects. It’s like pretty faces are usually symmetrical. I don’t know. I’m just not sure, there’s probably a science behind it. With people who are Doctors. Hello, I’m a Doctor of Style. You wouldn’t believe them though, would you. You’d just think they’re being cocky.

My room is divided into two categories; things I’m satisfied with and things I’m not. I wasn’t aware of this till recently and all it comes down to when I have a feeling that something isn’t right. Which is an okay problem, I suppose, but it occurred to me that I could just fix them. Anything that gives me a sinking feeling just correct it till I’m all chill inside.

That’s obvious isn’t it. When you live in a space you don’t often see that though.

So here I am fixing what doesn’t satisfy me and I’ll update you in the future whether these changes have worked.

shelving

IMG_0857 1covering the sides

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bed side table

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shelves

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This is where I kind of gave up and had a walk, food and a bubble bath. I’m an easily distracted creature. This one was a tough one though. I still don’t think it’s right but I think I’m done playing for today so I’ll sit on it a bit and see if my dissatisfied senses tingle.

It does look kind of cute. It’s growing on me already.IMG_2916

 

A quickie on plants and possibly insanity

Something wonderful happened a few weeks ago. Wonderful you ask? Yes, and you may only understand if you are like me.

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My brother began to describe a plant he owns to me, with so much detail and love. I was like yes! I get this. This is how I talk about my plants. He was then telling me his girlfriend doesn’t care like he does, and again yes! My boyfriend switches off when I start explaining how one is growing, ones stopped, how one is growing a certain way, concern for another and that I don’t like to split up the twins. (Photo of the twins below. They’re nonidentical. They’ve been together for so long and grew so well together that when I potted them into individual pots I couldn’t split them up. Genuine sadness.)

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It was a magical moment (brother would probably disagree) of knowing I wasn’t alone in this world of wanting a few house plants but not wanting to care for a garden and possibly not children but plants are enough. He wasn’t on board though when I was explaining that people say you should talk to your plants but I believe they grow more if you radiate love for them when you water them.. I’m really not crazy, I just don’t know how to write this without sounding insane.

So this post is for my love, and hoping others understand, but knowing they probably won’t, BUT I took some pretty photos for people to look at?

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The conflict of ironing..

..which would seem irrelevant to me because I don’t iron. None of my clothes are ironed, nor my Mums and I’m sure my Nan has told me she hates it so has cut back or stopped. What’s the point then, Emily, what’s the thoughts today?

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It’s a pretty simple one, just that whether people are happier who iron. I often contemplate now today’s generation are so used to getting things instantly, you don’t have to wait. I said to someone the other day that I miss the TV being on when I was young but not watching it because I was waiting a few hours for something, meanwhile I would get on with something important like playdough or barbies. That’s a weird thing to miss but I look back at that and feel relaxed, comforted and it’s just simple. Having anything at my finger tips, having entertainment whenever I want, only means that when it comes to meaningless tasks I am totally put off them because it’s not stimulating enough.

Now it’s balancing itself a little bit, in my opinion. Mindfulness is popular, meditation, people preach digital detoxes, everyone loved kindle and now people prefer books again, the Nokia 3310 is back, minimalism, record players.

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So I wondered if something like ironing is a therapeutic task that keeps you grounded. I completely right it off because I think that I don’t want to waste my time doing something I don’t like. Doesn’t that sound so privileged? Doing things like housework are normal, why do I expect a more adventurous lifestyle than that? I want extraordinary, ironing doesn’t fit the cut.

I don’t believe I’ll want anything less than an adventurous life, I’ve always been like it, I just like to play. I do think it’s possible, I think you can live whatever life you want to live. Exceptions of course, I’m not exactly living how I would like to completely but I understand it’s a process anyway, and that part (being on a journey) is part of my ‘dream life’. So really I’m exactly where I would like to be, because I’m not ready to be anywhere else. My life has to be my dream life by this theory, no matter how shitty or amazing it is currently. Also I have the mindset that I desire, even though I’m not climbing a mountain I have that mindset when I’m climbing the o2 (if you haven’t done it, nothing in common with a mountain) (still recommend it). It’s not a ‘more and more’ mentality, not constantly unsatisfied and wishing, this is where my thought process could become foggy for someone that doesn’t know me. I don’t expect anything from life and I’ve never liked the thought of hand outs. I think its more just try your best, be satisfied, have fun and choose what you want to waste time over – not what you think you should waste time doing.

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My Mum is always trying to find short cuts with menial tasks. That’s kind of her thing. I get it, I don’t want to wash up really, I don’t want to sort my things, I don’t want to iron. Since de-cluttering, though unfortunately still doing it, housework isn’t such a big job. Maybe that is the answer. If you only have four plates and you wash them straight away it’s not that bad, I’ve even enjoy some organising when there isn’t as much to do. Another option is to live a disposable life? I don’t agree with being wasteful but I could have paper cups and plates. Or, and the most attractive option to me, never own a house, live on the road. That’s me romanticising.

These are all ponderings. I have the outlook that if you don’t like doing something you shouldn’t feel like you have to do it. At the same time I have a tendency to go off in my head and live along my wild ideas and plans (is that a bad thing?) and doing something simple like watering my plants (which I bloody love so maybe a bad example) brings me back down to Earth.

I’m not going to iron to see if I like it. I will stick to creased clothes. I still work hard at writing or some DIY I’ve got going on but I don’t want to work hard at stupid things that I can’t for the life of me rationalise. It opened my mind to what we possibly should do though, to keep ourselves grounded and human. So shortcuts are a good thing, I agree with them, but just like finding that balance with how much technology you consume in a day, I think some things should stay old school. I will water my plants by hand, not any fancy contraption, but I won’t iron.

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Stress of the future

A good day is when a new door opens in your brain to new thought. I say this positively because it has to be, it’s not something to negatively dwell on. Today I’ve been confronted with something I kind of reject. There’s a question to why I reject it, whether it’s because I oppose anything to do responsibility or opposing what ‘I’m meant to do’. I do debate what I should do vs what I want to do. Regardless on if what I want to do is also what I should do. So whatever the reason why am I scared to prepare for the future?

I’ve seen the importance in it many a time. In the past I had the savings for a rainy day. And now? Now I hate the thought of waiting to live. I suppose this comes from people saying they’ll ‘wait for retirement to do that’ (I’m talking people in their 20s), and I think it’s absolutely absurd. No one knows if they’ll even reach their 60s. Plus by that point, and I try to say this sensitively, will you be able to do the same things as in your youth? You probably won’t even want to.

I’ve also had older people say to me that they wished they travelled. So many wishes and oh my God so many ‘don’t have kids’ and ‘don’t get married’. Not that I take this ‘advise’, every person is different. Also these people probably have so many blessings that they aren’t counting, which I may not have if I choose travel over a deposit for a house. You must substitute one regret for another.

I like to think that if my life got completely uprooted I would see it as my next adventure, but I’m saying that from the perspective of living with my parents, having a roof over my head and dinner on the table. If that was all taken away in a day, then what? What options do I have? I suppose, seriously thinking about it now, I would sell all my possessions, try to stay at someone’s house, take it a day at a time.. Then what if I had to provide, what if I’m not singular and there’s a lot on my shoulders? I did live on my own for four years and the stress was there. It’s all about finding the balance of doing what you want with your life, but also preparing for your future in case shit hits the fan.

I mean, this all being said, you can’t really have a plan in place can you. Otherwise you’ll be one of these people preparing for the zombie apocalypse or a nuclear war. You just have to be brave and somehow muster the courage to see a massive negative as a chance to learn. That’s what ‘failures’ are.

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15 Things I’d Be Doing If I Didn’t have Tonsillitis (But I Still Probably Wouldn’t Be)

You know when you’re ill and you instantly think ugh, if I wasn’t sick I would have got this done, and that done! ?

Even though you probably wouldn’t have.. That’s a sickness in itself.

Here are fifteen things my brain tells me I would have gotten done if I didn’t have tonsillitis right now (most likely all a lie);

  1. Could have finally finished my homemade Christmas cards and possibly even handing them out.
  2. Tidied my bedroom completely, so it’s all finished.
  3. Prepared items for my Etsy shop.
  4. ALL of my washing.
  5. Seen Fantastic Beasts And Where To Find Them at the cinema. (This one is actually true) (Gutted!)
  6. Probably would have been well groomed, clean and presentable.
  7. Maybe even decorated my room a little. No, I would have decorated the whole house.
  8. Definitely would have watched far less Netflix… And used my time wisely.
  9. Probably would have had lots of long, brisk walks.
  10. Been sophisticated and read a book about philosophy, in the park perhaps.
  11. Socialised every night and been the talk of the town.
  12. A digital detox would have happened.
  13. I would have meditated every day, and maybe a bit of yoga.
  14. Played board games with my family and feel so bonded.
  15. And finally, made blog posts everyday, with mind blowing content.

 

Such a shame. Oh well. Don’t mind me, I need to skim Netflix now I’ve finished watching The Crown. It is so tough being sick!

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Back when I was well. A whole long week ago. I was probably in the middle of making my bed when I decided to take this quick snap on my SLR, after securing it to my tripod and getting all the settings right, then taking ten or so dud photos. So hardworking. (I was definitely not making my bed)

Bedroom: Teenager to Adult

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2012 bedroom

As I’ve moved yet again (I’ve moved a lot in the last 5 years, that’s weird to look back on, but this time its only to a bigger room) I thought I’d share a few photos from my teenage bedroom in comparison to the one I just moved out of. I fully moved out of it 2012 when these photos were taken, which meant my photo wall disappeared, and to be fair that’s all I cared about and basically all I took photos of when I left. And to also be fair again, best way to be, my entire room was covered in photos so not sure why I always called one wall my photo wall when the others were equally covered. Teenagers, ay?! Mental.

Let us begin.

May 2012 – taken aged 21 but room decorated aged 14-19

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November 2016 – aged 25

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I don’t think there’s a huge difference between that room and the one I just moved out of. Less experimental with photos maybe. More ‘adult’ now. I used to cut photos out, overlap them, use masking tape to stick them to the wall, group them into colours or feeling. It was eclectic and a lot, I wish I could have captured all of it in one frame. Now I have collected artwork which I’ve framed, and have more items I’ve made. I see my old, old room as a blank canvas or a lesson which helped refine how I like to style, which I’m still learning (homes are never finished), and it may not seem important in the slightest but having creative and experimental surroundings feel comforting to me. Having a generic room isn’t comforting, it feels off and not myself, but the way I style is not for everyone, it’s definitely not for my family, but I like that.

I hadn’t finished this bedroom I just left, I was just getting started but I wanted this room I’m in now so bad. Already it feels good. I think it’s a positive change, and I’m seeking all the positivity I can get right now.

I transformed my last bedroom drastically to what it was before, and I’ve already changed this new one completely with the layout compared to how my brother had it. I go with my gut, decorating is important and fun to me, but I like it to be completely how I want it, not anyone else. There’s a ‘practical space’ that would work for everyone, then there’s a ‘practical space’ that suits me and my needs. It has to feel right. I haven’t painted but I don’t think I’m done with having grey walls yet. I need to live here for a bit then it’ll hit me round the face how I want to decorate, and I thrive on that inspiration.