Not much to report on my food from yesterday so let’s interrupt the vegan express train to throw in something else. Let’s mix things up for today.
It’s cold and windy. Every year I forget January is like this. I keep getting a hopeless, lowness cloud over me, and each day I’m batting it away like a strangers fart. The problem with lowness is that when you feel like there is no hope, there is no answer to what will help you.
Though I have tried reading, crafting, socialising and I booked a holiday for the end of February, I still feel as empty as my bank account is. I am fine though, and happy. Just wrestling with the blues.
I don’t own a house, but here I am obsessing over the shapes of houses recently. It must be because of the incense burner I bought from Edinburgh. We stayed at the bottom of Victoria Street, which is a windy road with all different coloured buildings – it’s as magical as it sounds. At the Christmas market there was a stall of these incense burners which I fell madly in love with because it reminded me of the road, and I hoped always would.
I’m playing with air dry clay at the moment. Seeing where that’ll take me and then pop them onto my Etsy.
My choice of scent this evening is my wine bottle candle and I’ve gathered my make up brushes to clean later. That’s all I’ve planned, as dull as it seems, for I’m always hopeful for unexpected and spontaneous excitement.
I will declare it now just to get it out the way:
I love Edinburgh.
James had to put up with me saying that over and over for four days straight, but in my defence I don’t understand why no one has told me how bloody lovely it is. It was a shock to the system. Imagine aliens visiting us and Area 51 are like ‘yeah, well, it’s no surprise’ but the rest of the world (other than those preparing for that day to come) are like ‘what?!?! Why didn’t we know?!’ and we would constantly look at each other, maybe nervous giggle – very English – and say ‘can you believe aliens are taking over the world? lol’.
That’s how I feel. How was this secret kept from me? lol.
Needless to say, I instantly felt at home there.
I have only edited my favourite photos of the trip so far, but I was never really going to write a post about my holiday anyway – yet here we are.
So just a quickie
We had the most gorgeous little apartment over looking Grassmarket and at the bottom of my newly favourite street in the world, Victoria Street. We bought some Scottish decorations for every Christmas here on out. Harry Potter is absolutely everywhere. Oh and the Christmas market is amazing, please let me go back at the start of pay day.
Then then then
As we were driving back home it was snowing and the mountains were blanketed, it was all so beautiful and I LOVE EDINBURGH! Bugger, I said it again. I’m sorry, it’s like an illness.
So that’s all for now. I just needed an outlet for this feeling.
And Merry Christmas!
There’s a list of festivities that I am well and truly ticking off already.
Some years I don’t get round to doing them all because once December comes along everything is go go go, and among the Christmas parties, visiting family, and getting rat arsed as often as possible (and then the hangover days) – when do you find time to do the things that make you feel really festive?!
These are the things I’ve been up to in November, that somehow are essential to feeling festive that I don’t do any other time of the year.
Ice skating – even better, in an empty ice rink
Drinking warm alcohol with spices in
Stood outside in the cold weather to look at lights
Made Christmas crafts that I actually adore this year
And then there’s the seemingly endless Christmas shopping, silly jumpers (James and I wore them in September) and popping on a Christmas film at any free moment (I’ve watched Love Actually twice and Arthur Christmas four times).
I really like this time of the year, encase you couldn’t tell.
And James’s suggestion for this list? ‘Not arguing.’
It was cold. That’s true. Not many others were braving the weather to visit this corner of the world. The wind was forcing them to wrap their scarfs tighter and their glove covered hands were well and truly hibernating in their pockets.
The Needles, that’s where they were visiting. She had never heard of them, and to be honest, they didn’t look like how she imagined, but that bit’s not important.
Unexpectedly, before the landmark, they walked into an amusement village. A bricked street with wooden, shabby small shops each side, all closed, of course. It was cold.
Her step slowed, the wind quietened but her surroundings felt alive.
She heard a Christmas song, already half way through. It must have been playing the whole time but it was only just noticed. She looked around and saw little speakers at the top of each shop. All of them turning cream and weathered, playing a classic.
She could see into the deserted shops at the trinkets and sweets. Little glimpses of a world but frozen in place like photographs.
Everything seemed right.
She felt like the world had stopped, for just one second.
A little glance at peace.
Something had changed in her. She took a step forward and the world started again. She could hear the wind, the sea slapping The Needles, her Dad calling her to hurry up but no longer the music.
Nothing would be the same.
I once visited The Isle of Wight for the first time near Christmas time. I must have been 16, or there abouts, so parts of this memory is hazy and I think I filled in the grey parts with my imagination.
I have written about it before too, which seems strange I’m obsessed with this imagery in my brain considering there’s a less colourful truth and, most importantly, nothing happened. It’s one of those things I have never shared but plays out in my mind.
The imagery I made up has just stuck with me.
I’ve Googled The Needles since and it doesn’t look like this. Nope. Over the years this idea has transformed into something it isn’t, and definitely inspired by The Polar Express.
Everything should be inspired by The Polar Express.
These photos were taken in Rochester at 5pm. This is the closest to the idea in my mind and I felt ever so Christmassy.